I was asked why I started this website and it made me think back on everything I’ve been through. Single mothers, I have a message for you…
You are enough.
If I could hug each one of you and tell you that in person, I would. Stop questioning yourself, stop feeling inadequate. You are unbelievably enough. I know you might be struggling, I’ve been there too. I know you might be battling, I battled just like you. I know behind that mama bear facade, you question everything you are doing. It is natural, it is unavoidable, but if you take anything away from this, just know – you are enough.
I know your makeup isn’t on perfectly and your hair isn’t perfectly coiffed. I see you, struggling to fit into your jeans because you haven’t seen the inside of a gym in years. I know you look at yourself and can’t stand what you see. But what you don’t see is how beautiful you are, inside and out. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re doing what you need to do by putting your children’s needs first, but your time will come. So keep on mama, keep on.
And I know that not all of the bills are getting paid. It’s a cat and mouse game, how you take from one to give to another. I remember having to chose which bill I paid and which one we could live without if it got shut off. I literally warmed water in my microwave to bathe my baby when the gas was turned off. But I made it work. I remember searching for change in seat cushions to pay for gas to get to & from work, filling my gas tank $3 at a time. I lived paycheck to paycheck, too. I know your struggle but I promise, you are strong enough to move forward in faith & love.
Stop feeling guilty to all the mom-shamers out there who judge you for not making your own baby food or for not keeping your house spotless. Screw them, seriously. If your child is healthy and safe, happy and well-adjusted, you rock. We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. So don’t feel like you have to keep up with the ridiculous standards other moms put on each other. No, you don’t have to make your own baby food, you don’t have to let your baby cry it out, and you don’t have to feel bad about being a working mom.
Single moms, you do it all. From the fathering to the mothering, to the teaching and the disciplining, and the laughing and the crying. Remember how special that is, how special you are. You might not see it, but you are so very special to your child. So give yourself a break.
YOU are ENOUGH.
I started this website because I wanted every single parent to have a place to go if they needed help. I want to offer a place of advice, a place where single parents can ask questions and get honest answers. It isn’t easy, being a parent, single or not. But damn, single parents, you’re doing a great job. Don’t forget that.
Have questions or need help? We’re here for you and can offer advice. Reach out to us, here
Lauren is Co-founder and CMO of momsplained.com. A single mom, marketing pro, and avid DIYer, she spends her days playing as much as she works and working as much as she dreams. “Omnia Feminae Aequissimae (women are equal to everything).” – Lady Hale